I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
4 words: hood of his car
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Ladies don't puke and tell
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
