I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
