I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
