Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
