im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
