Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
