I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
