I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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