If i come over, it means nothing
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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