are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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