why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
