her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
