I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
