did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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