i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
