Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
