did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
