you traded sex for a burrito?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
