I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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