No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just had sex on a roof
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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