I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
