Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
