btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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