Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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