wakey wakey hands off snakey
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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