ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
