farters have to be the big spoon...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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