He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
