everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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