Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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