my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
