R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Holy sore nipples Batman
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
