watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
