dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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