I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
