I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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