Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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