You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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