Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
