It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
