i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
