Already got asked if we're dating
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
