and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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