no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
