I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
