It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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