Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
