i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
