Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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