I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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