apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
